&& i found it. that paradise.

marcus and me broke up.

i'm not gonna explain. ^^ It's not exactly a bad thing. It really wasn't working out. It was almost 7 months, 14th Feb was the day. And we broke up today, at the end of the month.

Period.

P.S. And I'm single again.

I've got another blog up and I've been posting there quite regularly for a while. It has everything in there, all my deepest thoughts. It feels good to be able to type freely without worrying about whether this post would offend anybody or something.

anyway, i want to take this post to tell the people around me something ok. Whether you have been mean or not, or you have said something you shouldn't have... Just forgot it ok? Place some trust in that person and believe that she didn't mean it, she had her reasons, or she simply is human, she had her flaws. If you feel hurt, betrayed, pissed over whatever that person said, she must be of a certain importance to you. Or pose a threat in some way, whatever it is, she means something. And if that something had been really positive, then believe in that person.

It doesn't matter what that person had done, just don't do it too badly back. Human nature is like that. Take things in your stride. Sometimes things go your way, sometimes it doesn't. And as quoted from the five people you meet in heaven, hatred is like a curved blade, you use it to harm someone, you are actually harming yourseld. You are not able to release the hatred. And every second that you are hating, you lose a second of happiness. If we could stop hating and use the time to be happy. This world would be such a happy world.

I know whatever I said might not be that easy to do. But try? I don;t know what to do about it too.

Gosh this is a sad depressing post. Oh bye. I don't know what to say le la.

OK the first part of this post will be on dilys ong. you can skip over to the next part if you don't want to read about her(lols) but ok la. she's kinda interesting to read about. or at least, i'll make it interesting de.

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dilys is my primary school friend for 4 years if im not wrong. she's damn retarded, as in honestly. she craps a lot and she's tawny. she has wavy hair and a fat face. haha. she speaks faster than anybody i know, even shiyun! so she is like a machine gun in a way. shes quite annoying at times. she loves to spam my blog with her crap which shows that she is damn lame. but heh. she's in 2E now and in CO.

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it's saturday night and i have pretty much been slacking the day off, only stopping to do a little work. although im supposed to study. i always find ways to slack. i honestly think im really really mad sometimes. i can imagine like lionel and yuanjun mugging like hell. and here i am, listening to true by ryan cabrera and blogging and downloading AUDITIONSEA(by request of flower), she says it's really nice. It's so long le and it's still at 8%. GOD.

lushikoh blog is up. but i'm not gonna disclose the URL. cause SOME people managed to get past the password prompt!!! Which is damn scary cause there's really lots of things in there.

teddy geigar sounds so nice. and i got more songs cause i just had a music exchange with flower now there's not enough space in my ipod MINI anymore WHY???

And charme is kinda stagnant for the mo cause im just so so so busy la ok. so the blog is for me now. me and my life.

And yes, every occasionally i would blog about BOYS right right. JONATHAN BENNETT is so cute. Cause I suddenly looked through the films and saw mean girls and i remember the absolutely hot male character. AARON. so goddamn cute. hopefully he plays nate in the gossipgirl movie. chad micahel murray should go away. really. WANT HIS WALLPAPER???

http://www.wallpaperbase.com/wallpapers/celebsm/jonathanbennett/jonathan_bennett_1.jpg

Look! I'm so darn nice. Would any other girl share this with you? Obviously NOT.

And you are still so oblivious. Can you please be a tad smarter? You think you are so smart, but in fact, you are a person of a lousiest breed.You still think everything is as peaceful as it seems? Well, it seems not to me.

Like hil's nick, it's hidden truth. UTTERLY HIDDEN. You fake it off so well. Bitch. I should have thought so anyway. Or maybe I was just plain dumb yeah.

Today's history test was actually satisfactory. That's a first okay. Then moving on, it's LSP! We went like grocery shopping and it was kinda fun even though we didnt win but who cares about that little present? It's not really sour grapes, I really don't care.

Then me, Bev, Yanlin, Siew ting and Xin yan like went to Parkway for lunch and we saw so many other people of our class! LOLS. kinda expected. And i kept stealing Eli's drink. TSK TSK. Then the others left, leaving me and BEv, and of course, we went shopping!!! But i didn't buy much stuff lugging a stupid school bag around! I kinda hate shopping after school. There's just no mood, the i-just-wanna-spend-my-money mood. Yeaps, that's right.

So I just bought a caramel milk sweet and peach soda at the Japanese shop. The sweet is so darn nice! And guess why I bought the Peach Soda? Because the cover was all pink and glittery with jap words. How the hell can i not buy. It was three bucks lol.

And me, serene, yilin and see ting were almost late for school today cause....

OPPOSITE SIMEI GREEN/RISE(NOT SURE) NEAT A TRAFFIC JUNCTION TURNING IN TO THE EXPRESSWAY

The car was driving at a normal speed, as usual, like any other normal day. Then suddenly, the car stopped. I don't know what happened. But everybody started to get out of the car so i got out too. I heard "Pang2 xie4 pang2 xie4" So i happily thought that a crab got in the way. BUT NO. It was PUNCTURE, not pang2 xie4. To my dismay, we stood there for quite long and by the time the car's punctured tyre was changed, we thought we were definitely going to be late. BUT NO again! We weren't late! LOLS.

Oh and I have to go do the lushikoh blog le. TSK TSK. BYE.

i realised i cant scold vulgarities on mykindablog. i was found OFFENSIVE. and my post was deleted by some fucked up asshole who happen to chance upon my divine blog and complained about me. now i understand how xiaxue felt. or maybe not. who wants to feel what she feels? lols. i don't like her. superficial bimbo who makes mindless comments on things that her low intelligence just grasp.

oops. i'm being mean. and really kinda superficial. but hey, maybe not, i infer from all her stupid posts and pictures ok. some people just get over this stupid stage pretty fast, but she just doesn't. how sad.

anyway, first period today was math test. although it was supposed to be relatively easy, i think i didnt do very well. i think it was kinda bad. gosh. i shall not talk about it. its making me depressed.

then i went for lunch with ah siong gaga, we ate steak at UNO HOUSE. (it rocks, i mean, the tenderloin steak rocks) then i came back home, and watch some anime and here i am typing this post. there was supposed to be training today but dad didnt let me go. i mean it. dad really didnt let me go.

whatever if you dont believe. i dont give a rat's squiggly ass. life is so messy, and effed up. it's like tests after tests, non stop. what is wrong with it. my life was a little dramatic, still is, yes, but it's gotten worse. and i have to accept it as it is?

the d-boys are so cute anyways. the current members: (but i only like the first six excluding Yanagi Kotarou, besides them, there's also Shunji Igarashi and Yuichi Nakamura! <3

Yuu Shirota
Yanagi Kotarou
Yuya Endo
Masaki Kaji
Osamu Adachi
Hirofumi Araki
Hiroki Suzuki
Masato Wada
Yuichi Nakamura
Shunji Igarashi
Koji Seto
Shingo Nakagawa
Kohei Kumai
Yuma Minakawa

i think ill go buy their book once i can read jap or something^^

they make my day happier, these bands!

i had an extremely horrible dream last night. i was so scared. i think i can almost burst into tears. and i am not joking. it felt so real. it wasnt even like a magic-ky kinda scary dream, it was like a real life scary dream. it was really bad. i can cry. please dont let dreams come true. i dont know what ill do. really. and dont let this dream come to me anymore. please get away from me.

i feel too not-in-the-mood to blog about today's stuff. let me just say. i went to rachel house to do math sculpture and i came back and did my best to study. i hate it. i hate to study. theres still a math test tmr, right on first period. my life is like, the midst of an overcrowded mrt train, an accident occurs. the train stops, my life pauses. then i witness this gruesome accident, and i cant move, theres too many people. people are frantic. and im at a loss of what to do.

and suddenly, it feels so wrong. my life is really in a mess.

i dont even know if i can get into triple science. in dunman high at least. i haven been doing very well, like in any subject. its killing me.

please put my life back into place. where it was all nice and safe? where i could go to sleep peacefully, without the bad dreams. without the troubles, where i dont have to fret. and worry. i cant take it all. or at least, let me be strong, strong enough to take all that on.

please.

oh my god, it's been really quite long since i last posted? how long? two weeks? I really got no idea. Maybe longer, maybe not that long?

oh wells. so much had happened, i realised who my angel was. thank you angel^^

its the exams really, that have been pushing me so so so hard. but dont know why, sometimes, i find ways to slack. arent i just amazing? i honestly think i am. i am slacking now. taking a loong breather, yes, so long already. i cant study at home. kill me. URGH.

the D-BOYS are so cute!!! osamu adachi is so cute although he's not good looking in that way la. so is hiroki aiba but he aint in D--BOYS, but whatever. osamu adachi is eiji kikumaru in the prince of tennis movie. *screams* wahaha. but i dont like all of them ok, i only like a particular FEW. im not naming them. too lazy. oh fine and shirota yuu, yuya endo,Shunji Igarashi, yuichi nakamura and masaki kaji. how lovely.

but i realised that japanese/korean guys are not good looking in that hot way, only the kinda-cute way. and that goong guy, quite cute too. but ok only la. and hu ge of course, forever no 1, he's got his new song up! yay^^

ok, enough about the boys.

and i have to write yimei's book! ah. the full blood prince, its killing me, silently.

lately the tests and exams and homework and projects are piling, not all had received good grades, but only okay grades. i guess nothing is too wrong with me?

oh oh oh oh. zac is cute ok. sulin thinks his eyebrows are weird, well, it is a little weird, but whatever, he is gayishly cute on the whole. isnt that weird yet cute? how ironic.

ah. my adachin. he looks so cute with the reddish brown hair, stabding with his arms on his hips and legs apart! so adorable. lols.

koh hsing dee is gonna be my teacher in charge, honestly, why cant she just give me that damn one mark for the life science test? she's freaking annoyiing.

oh wells. bye.

Charme is working fine now yay^^I'm so busy, so so busy.

Happy National Day to all!!!

Charme is working weird now. Ok, so if you want to get into my site, you will see this whole list of crap that is not supposed to be there. But it's not like there's virus in it so dont worry, those are just my files. So, CLICK ON RACHEL BILSON-INDEX to get into the site. Very fast and kinda easy, just click on the bottom link:
www.charme.co.nr
find rachel bilson-index, click on it,
and TADA.
ok?
bye. i changed skin and layout. HAPPY ME> and lushikoh outing today too^^

p.s. happy national day's eve to all!

my convo with siya! cos i cried during the show rmb, when watching the lakehouse. read my previous post^^

[*2ismOs'06__] - The One Being Sung /\ 歌われる者- says:
oh pamela~
[*2ismOs'06__] - The One Being Sung /\ 歌われる者- says:
I SEE U REACHED HOME SAFELY.
charme hey romeo says:
then read shiying's blog
charme hey romeo says:
funny
charme hey romeo says:
serene's blog also
[*2ismOs'06__] - The One Being Sung /\ 歌われる者- says:
huh. wads it abt?
charme hey romeo says:
breasts haha and other stuff
[*2ismOs'06__] - The One Being Sung /\ 歌われる者- says:
.....
[*2ismOs'06__] - The One Being Sung /\ 歌われる者- says:
omgosh. i'll stop reading.
charme hey romeo says:
lols why
[*2ismOs'06__] - The One Being Sung /\ 歌われる者- says:
i know wads it abt anyway, i can predict in my mind. zz
charme hey romeo says:
lols, not that bad las
[*2ismOs'06__] - The One Being Sung /\ 歌われる者- says:
oh ya pam
charme hey romeo says:
yea?
[*2ismOs'06__] - The One Being Sung /\ 歌われる者- says:
u said its ok to dream once in a while
charme hey romeo says:
yeah..
[*2ismOs'06__] - The One Being Sung /\ 歌われる者- says:
i dream everyday -_-
charme hey romeo says:
LOLS.

Siya is so so so cute! Lols. hehe. Siya the duck. no no. the dead duck. wahaha. shes so amusing.

the lakehouse was so nice. i pon CCA to go and watch the show, and i managed to pull siya along! bev and eli came too. it's so nice. i dare say its the only show i think its worth ponning to watch. you may not like the show the way i do but i dont give a rat squiggly's ass cos the point is. i love itt. and i know you will too (^_^) its so sweet and romantic and full of emotions that only love can give. i know i sound cheesy. but the show's worthed it. enough for me to be cheesy. the only other show that is so sweet without being so complicated and cliche is love actually.

i suddenly feel like falling in like true love. basking in the joy of the cupids and everything that seems so perfect. although its quite impossible. that any man would do this for me. if i really can find true love, and he would be as sweet, i'ld give up my lofty aspirations and fly to the ends of the earth with him, ahaha. we would just sit by the lake, watching the sunrise and sunset, never bothering about people and the hypocritical superficial world that is almost plastic.

i know im fantasizing, i know sometimes i just have to face up to reality. i guess i have to even though i really dont want. and if i had a choice, i wouldnt want too. its good to daydream once in a while. haha.

today has been such a great day. lessons were almost great! and i got satisfactory marks for geog which shocked me. hehehe. im so happy. science lesson today was disgusting. its so embarrassing, to learn about pubic hair and its growth with like, i dont know, people of the opposite sex around. gross i say. and most of all. i managed to protect my delicate, fragile and tender body. shiying did not manage to headbutt me THERE cause i pon training. i don know how long i can dodge her thoguh. shes mad. i dont want to be her next victim. *wonders who her victim was today* poor victim no ??? i dont want to be victim???+1. NO NO NO. get your hands away from my breast shiying.

and two more days to national day! tmr is national day celebration. after that would be...LUSHIKOH OUTING!!! yay^^ i cant wait. cant wait. cant wait wahahaha.

jingjie is not coming to school tmr so marcus will be mascot. gosh. i can hear what yimei, adryl, clara, and shiying is going to say. but i dont mind. *smiles innocently*

oh wells. i gotta help in the mascot making. bye.

P.S. remember to watch the lake house. its so worthed it. so so worthed it.

hello people. it's been long isn't it? since i posted here. my thoughts and everything. oh wells. i have been so so so busy. but now i'm back! for good! isn't that greatt??? so wonderful.

im really back because i find blogger MUCH less problematic and faster to use. so instead of blogging in there, i mighta as well blog in here. charme shall be my site with site updates and design and stuff. but this will be my blog. me-andyou will stay my blog! forever yeah! if thats possible of cos. but i think it will! ^^

i put on an amazing five kg. i cant believe it. really. im being most honest. this is my blog i say what i want and i will be honest. FIVE kg, i never hit above 47 kg. gosh. but im not obese or fat at all la. im like 90%. freakk. what is wrong with me. really. i grew like 1.5 cm only! weeps. i thought i grew to 164 already. why am i growing so slowly in terms of height and like literally exploding in terms of weight!?! unfairness. when i saw the weighing scale i squinted right on the scale and said "oh my god. im 50kg" then ms tan loook at me and said "you put on 5 kg?" then im like "oh my god, ya"!!! this is BAD. but like almost everybody in class put on weight, besides a pathetic few who actually managed to lose weight. weird la.

today's training was bah. shiying was practically head butting everybody's breasts. like she gets her victimes from the volleyball club. shes mad. her victim today was then MELISSA. poor melissa. i haven kena yet. lucky me. today yixian and kystal came back to visit. the tj uniform is so ugly. its like dirty phlegmy green. like a really gross colour. i dont understand how they actually wear that uniform. its horrid. its pathetic. although i really kinda dont like our school and its uniform, it really isnt as bad as TJ's. gosh. what a stupid school who ostracise people and have ugly uniforms. apeshit.

lushikoh outing is this coming tues. im so happy. i cant wait. just like su said, we are so evil, so full of evil. haha. actually im the nice one among the three you know. its SU and HIl who are REALLY evil. they blame it all on me, those two. see? they are truely the evil ones. don see hil ah, so innocent and fair and cute, but actually she also very evil de. su no need to see la. one look and you know shes the evil-est. so naturally, im the nicest. i mean just look at me! what evil do you see? literally none, im honest, honest.

i cant publish my site using frontpage until now. i mean from just now until now. whats their effing problem. dumb system.

life science test didnt seem as easy -.-" think i didnt do that well. math common test and chinese test and ting xie and projects and homework are all cramming me up like hell. what a stupid school. i want to go hogwarts like hell. i would give almost anything to get into that school. i read half blood prince again. didnt cry this time. hah. i love harry. fleur's name is nicee. fleur. fleur. fleur. fleur. fleur!!

bev just sent me some pics that i took with her. i look so horribly distorted and ugly and maybe a little act cute. gosh. i cant stand myself. sometimes i cant help but AGREE WITH XIAXUE. like fuck natural beauty. all that stupid natural beauty talks they give, like almost every woman on this earth, in a right frame of mind, wants to look better. so they put make up, and by doing so, its not natural beauty anymore. if you use adobe photoshop to in any way, try to hide your flaws, you are also a piece of fake beauty. if you are so supportive of natural beauty, then tell me in the face that you wil not put any make up all your life for beauty purposes. not at all. not even when you get married, which you probably wont. and dont paint your nails. dont exercise to keep your figure in shape. grow lumps of fat that just stay all over your body, you tummy, arms, and fat butts. and just sleep like a pig all day. if you are able to do all that, then go campaign for natural beauty. im sure women all over the world would flock to see your shapely figure and support you man. go ahead. loser.

so you see. im actually quite honest. ah. and a lot of people know who my mortal is le. so not fun. not not not fun. sigh. what should i get ahhh. so busy la. must buy presents for a lot of people. siewting and mortal and angel. and sunday still got bbq.

loong post la. so fun. haven posted it a while. this is to make up for itl. comment by tagging until comment system is up.